A Teacher's Note: The Paradox of Teaching
This School Year 2014-2015 is a blast both for my
personal life and professional career. My professional career has been
nostalgic in the sense that I was able to gauge a lot of professional growth,
advancement, and development as a teacher. Likewise, my personal life has been
melancholic for it was blurred with a lot of challenges, especially in my
family, that stricken and shaken my principle and stability in life.
Though a lot of opportunities in my professional
career had brought tremendous successes, I felt half-empty. I know there are
areas that I neglected doing or taking care of. When I reflect on it,
it’s the same story last year. It is quite alarming for me: I know I have and I
should do something about it. For it seems that I was not able to strengthen my
weaknesses. These weaknesses had brought backlashes in my career. Such
incidences also affect my colleagues and I felt culprit on doing such mistakes
for I know at some point, some of these mistakes are truly unforgivable
professionally.
Thus, when I think about it, professional advice
really is the thing that I need the most. When I seek the advice of my friends,
they told me to focus on the things that I need to do first and avoid making
conflicts between my professional career and personal life. They really told me
to know my priorities and do time management in all my endeavors. At this
point, I know what they are talking about.
So, I decided to unwind for a while and think about the
things that I need to do to make myself a better person and a better teacher at
the same time. I plan to utilize my summer vacation as preparation for the next
school year. I’m aware that I have tons of things to fix with to bring back the
momentum and equilibrium in my teaching.
To be honest, I considered the next school year as my
second chance. I’m grateful for having a school that is so supportive and
colleagues that are understanding, patient, and caring. I’m truly blessed that
in the darkest days of my life, they are always there to guide me. This made me
realize how lucky I am to have them as my second family.
I’m also happy in the sense that I was able to share
my talents and skills with other people. And I’m planning to widen my
perspective in giving more assistance to my students. I want to bring back the eagerness in my heart: the undying patience for misbehaving students; the
untiring spirit of constructing learning materials that poster holistic and
optimal learning; and the passionate conviction to do paper works that I think
I’m lacking the most as a professional teacher.
I hate the feeling that I’m doing a lot of mistakes
for it haunts me every time I look back and think about them. Personally, I
would take this second chance seriously and sincerely for I don’t want to see
myself in a horrible state or like trash doomed by my own mistakes. This is a
promise that I want, should, and need to uphold in order to compensate for my
shortcomings. I know lost time and opportunity will not be compensated anymore,
but I do believe that I must do something to recuperate from such shortcomings.
Indeed, teaching is bitter-sweet.
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